In Defense of Lebron

By now, everyone who cares about sports knows that Lebron James has kicked Cleveland to the curb and is "taking his talents to South Beach". And everyone has an opinion. And most of them are anti-Lebron but I do not hold that same sentiment for one reason... battered wives should leave their husbands.

You see, this is no normal basketball story. This is a story of a marriage gone wrong. Lebron was just a hometown girl who could have gone anywhere and been sucessful. But the Cavaliers were the high school sweetheart that did anything and everything to woo the girl. They were both smitten and entered into marriage. And the sex life was amazing. This couple spawned a TON of offspring... the Cavs fans.

In the beginning Lebron and the Cavs seemed so good together and the future seemed right. Lebron worked her ass off to keep her husband happy. They went far together and accumulated much wealth. But at some point, the Cavs started taking his wife for granted. She worked so hard for him... all she asked was for some attention and maybe some accessories to keep her looking good.

But the husband basically ignored her. Oh, he loved the money and what Lebron could do for him but they were married. Seriously, if he didn't buy her a Gucci handbag then where was she going to go? They're locked in together. For life. Or so the Cavs mistakenly thought.

Eventually the Cavs noticed their loving wife's attitude starting to change. She may have even been developing a wandering eye. Sure the Cavs noticed but they still thought she wasn't going anywhere... she loves her kids too much. Anyway, wifey was developing a bad back from carrying her husband around. She deserved a damn handbag and how about some freakin' shoes while you're at it?

But Lebron was a patient and giving wife. She bought a trip for her and her husband (the NBA Finals) thinking it would make things better. They were having a good time... but damn, the husband spent half the trip drunk out of his mind. She planned everything and he didn't even pitch in.

After reflecting, the husband realized he screwed up big time. It was time to get Lebron some accessories. However, even when kissing up he still made a half-assed attempt. He bought her a Coach bag that only looked good with certain outfits (Antawn Jamison) and some Tommy Hilfiger which went out of style in like 2005 (Shaq). The good wife tried to smile and rock these fashions but the years of neglect were weighing heavily on her mind.

So Lebron buys her husband yet another trip to try and make things work (2010 NBA Playoffs vs Boston) and this trip goes horribly wrong. After the first day they did nothing but fight. Then the husband actually slapped the wife in public. Things were never the same after that trip. Her mind was made up to leave... except for one nagging issue. The kids.

But Lebron knew that she needed to get away from the situation for her health physically and mentally. She left her husband. And now she's in South Beach with her best friends sipping margaritas like it's Sex and The City. The husband can't believe she left. He called her a bitch on her Facebook page and everything... even though he was the one who drove her away. Deep down he knows this but he'll never admit to it.

And the kids? Just like in many divorces they are confused, depressed or angry. Right now they blame mom for leaving although they kind of knew it was coming. They can not blame themselves because it wasn't their fault. But they will still beat themselves up about it. In time, they will realize it was for the best and that they are stronger for it.

Lebron will enjoy her life change. She will feel like Queen James once again. Even though she will always have some scars from the divorce. And the Cavs will run through a string of floosies trying to match what they had with the ex-wife. Yet none of them ho's will ever match up. Not even close.

Sports Hall of Fame: Ken Griffey Jr.

Ken Griffey Jr hung up his cleats today. It's a sad day for anyone who collected baseball cards in the 1980's and 1990's as his Upper Deck rookie was legendary. I knew a guy with like twenty of the cards in a binder and it was like I was looking at a gold brick when I saw them.

Here is a small list of things I will remember him for...

1) Trademark backwards cap that garnered him the nickname "The Kid".
2) His ridiculous catches in center field where he robbed hitters of home runs.
3) He played on the same team as his dad and they hit back to back HR's. Pretty awesome.
4) I never heard anyone say they didn't like Ken Griffey Jr.
5) "The Simpsons" episode where he drank nerve tonic and developed a grotesquely swollen jaw.
6) One of the few star players of his era not suspected of steroids.
7) Dude hit 630 home runs. Fifth all-time. If not for injuries he would have easily passed Willie Mays for 4th.

Thanks for the memories Ken, you deserve a spot in my Hall of Fame.

AFC West Status

Denver: There is a thin line between genius and madness. Coach Josh McDaniels is straddling that line. When Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall had a difference of opinions with the coach, they were both sent packing. I understand asserting yourself as the boss but how about some crisis resolution skills? In the 2010 draft, Josh McDaniels has sealed his fate. He has hitched his wagon to QB Tim Tebow. In the marketing sense it was a great move. Tebow's jersey has been the #1 seller in the NFL for two months straight. There is no questioning his popularity but there are many questions regarding his skills. If Tebow pans out, then McDaniels will be remembered as a visionary in the cloth of Bill Belichick.
-Fantasy Implications: WR Demaryius Thomas will have every opportunity to contribute. He is worth drafting in every league.
-NFL Implications: Forget the NFL... the Tebow pick will shape the future of the Broncos franchise. It's that important.

Kansas City: This is a team that needs playmakers. DB Eric Berry was being compared to Ed Reed in the draft process. If he is even close to that good, then the Chiefs got a bargain with the 5th pick at a position of need. The Dexter McCluster pick is a headscratcher. I like the player but I'm not sure a team like KC has the luxury of taking a situational player like McCluster in the 2nd round. If a team like Dallas or Miami had taken him, then he would have been a perfect fit. Just fourteen picks later they took another situational player in DB Javier Arenas whose main contribution will be as a kick returner. OG Jon Asamoah is a good pick for an offensive line that could use the help.
-Fantasy: With the addition of Arenas at KR and Berry at DB, the Chiefs defense might be draftable. It's been a while since we could say that.
-NFL: The Chiefs seem to have a plan. They had a lot of building to do but they have improved. In a weak division like the AFC West they could steal a few games. This is a make or break season for QB Matt Cassel.

Oakland: Al Davis must have gotten a hot tub time machine because he had his best draft since the 80's... The 1880's! (Just kidding) With LB Rolando McClain they got a guy who will be a leader on the defense that can defend both the run and the pass. Then they got DT Lamarr Houston who shot up draft boards in the offseason. He is a good fit for Oakland's scheme. They picked up some O-Linemen with freakish size/speed ratios in Jared Veldheer and Bruce Campbell. And of course they picked their prerequisite speedy WR in Jacoby Ford. The good news is that they didn't reach for any of them.
-Fantasy: This could be the year that RB Michael Bush breaks out. You should be able to get him in the mid to late rounds and his high ceiling is worth the gamble.
-NFL: I would be remiss to not mention that the Raiders cut a lot of dead weight in QB JaMarcus Russell. Most insiders say that QB Jason Campbell is very underrated. Even if he isn't, he will represent a huge upgrade at QB. I like Oakland to possibly get over the hump and come close to a winning record this year.

San Diego: The Chargers have been the class of the AFC West for a few seasons now. They still have the most talent... but how will they rebound from yet another disappointing playoff loss? The selection of RB Ryan Mathews was a necessity. I don't know how good he will be but San Diego needed a guy who could be an every down back. DT Cam Thomas is a 4th round pick who will need to step up in defending the run. LB Donald Butler could also contribute at a position with little depth on the squad.
-Fantasy: RB Ryan Mathews will see the rock often. An every down RB in the NFL is worth a 3rd round pick in a fantasy draft. If Mathews looks any good in preseason, then you might want to snag him late in the 2nd.
-NFL: Once again, San Diego should win this division... partly due to their talent and partly due to lack of competition.

Overall: It would be a surprising if the West had more than one team in the playoffs this season. It would be downright shocking if that team wasn't San Diego. The rest of the division is frankly an unknown at this point. How much can KC improve? Probably not enough. What will Denver look like? No one knows. I like Oakland as a surprise team this year. The upgrade at QB alone should be worth a couple extra wins. If they pull off some upsets, then things could get interesting.

TV Hall of Fame: 24

I had been waiting to open the TV wing of Cullen's Hall of Fame ever since I heard the news that the eighth season of "24" would be its last. I wasn't initially on the bandwagon for this show. In fact, I didn't watch a single episode until about Season 4. I watched the premier episode and I was hooked. I bought all of the first three seasons on DVD and plowed through them like Jamarcus Russell plows thru a box of donuts.

The Jack Bauer character is truly one of the icons in TV and the action genre. Dude doesn't eat, sleep or even take a leak in an entire day. To him, CTU stands for Cease To Urinate. And he has killed in nearly every way imaginable. Sort of like a homicidal MacGyver. Kiefer Sutherland will always be Jack Bauer first and foremost just like Michael Richards will always be remembered as Kramer from Seinfeld.

"24" had one of the greatest television Presidents of all time in David Palmer who was played by current Allstate shill Dennis Haysbert. It may sound ridiculous but he was so awesome that he truly helped many Americans embrace Barack Obama. Remember, nine years ago it seemed like a black president would never get elected in the United States. I'd like to think David Palmer had a small hand in changing that.

Whereas Jack Bauer is probably the best government agent to have ever lived, "24" also had an employee who was historically atrocious. Of course I am referring to the HR Director of CTU. You could count on this idiot to hire at least one mole/double-agent/douchebag every season. Does CTU's HR department do any background checks?

It is with mixed emotions that we say goodbye to "24". It was a fun ride that unfortunately went out with a whimper. But we remember the good times here and that is why we welcome "24" as the initial inductee into my TV Hall of Fame.

NFC East Post-Draft

Dallas: The Cowboys were lucky to have WR Dez Bryant fall to them at #24. That is shades of what happened with Randy Moss. People have said that Bryant may have a difficult personality... but don't most #1 WR's? Being passed over in the draft will give him a chip on his shoulder for years and he will make other teams pay. Dallas was very high on LB Sean Lee who they gave a mid-1st round grade. Most other teams had him as a 2nd rounder which is where he was selected. Lee should be the guy who takes over for Keith Brooking who is getting long in the tooth. DB Akwasi Owusu-Ansah is a small school talent who has a chance to make an impact in the secondary.
Fantasy Implications... Grab WR Dez Bryant in all formats. I doubt he busts.
NFL Implications... Still big questions at Left Tackle and Head Coach but a definite NFC contender.

New York Giants: The Giants went almost strictly defense in their draft. DE Jean Pierre-Paul is the biggest boom or bust pick of the first round. I would have taken LB Sean Weatherspoon instead. We'll see who is right. Linval Joseph should step into the defensive tackle rotation right away. I was impressed by DB Chad Jones at LSU and he should be able to start at some point in the pros.
Fantasy... The Giants defense might provide good value in fantasy drafts.
NFL... New York went all out to improve their defense in the offseason. Unfortunately I'm not sure they did enough to keep pace with the rest of the NFC East.

Philadelphia: The biggest move was obviously shipping Donovan McNabb to Washington. They liked what they saw of Kevin Kolb in limited work last season so this allows them to make the change at QB. Brandon Graham is an active player who should become popular in Philly. I thought he was a good pick in the 1st round. DB Nate Allen will likely start at a rookie at free safety. I wasn't a fan of their mid-round picks but Ricky Sapp could be a steal if he ever gets healthy. WR Riley Cooper should force Kevin Curtis out of a job. RB Charles Scott may finally be the short yardage back the Eagles have needed for years. LB Jamar Cheney, DT Jeff Owens and DB Kurt Coleman all represented great value. Due to sheer number of picks, Philly should be able to count on a lot of contributions from this rookie class.
Fantasy... Kevin Kolb should be on your fantasy radar. He might be the new Aaron Rodgers.
NFL... There have been a lot of changes in Philly. My main concern is who steps up as a leader. The Eagles released RB Westbook and traded QB McNabb who were two of top guys in the locker room.

Washington: The Redskins had an active offseason picking up head coach Mike Shanahan who brought in a stable of top RB's... or at least they were in 2007. Oh yeah, and some guy named Donovan is the new QB. None of those moves mean anything without a huge upgrade at OL though. So Washington grabbed OT Trent Williams as the #4 overall pick. He was inconsistent in college but had a great scouting combine. Hopefully they don't kick themselves for not taking Russell Okung because they didn't pick again until the 4th round.
Fantasy... WR Devin Thomas has breakout potential with a new QB and he will be in his 3rd season which historically is the season where most WR's start to "get it".
NFL... Washington was very busy making upgrades but there was more style than substance.

Overall: Dallas is the pick to win the division because they built momentum last season and haven't lost any in the offseason. Also, the NFL would LOVE for them to play at home in the Super Bowl so look for them to be the beneficiaries of some bad calls by the refs this year. Philly got a lot younger but their offensive line is still a question mark. They are also in the upper echelon of the NFC. Washington had a lot of holes last year and I don't think they did enough to fix their O-Line. The enigma will be the Giants. I could see them finishing last or rallying together to have a bounce back season. A lot will depend on which Eli shows up this season.

Top 5

My Top 5 Lawrence Taylor Jokes...

5) Ehh, it's still not as bad as his appearance on Dancing With The Stars.

4) Hey, when are the Bengals going to sign him???

3) Taylor is thinking about making a comeback with the Carolina Panthers... he heard about their youth movement.

2) Taylor is a former linebacker... and after his stint in prison he will be a former tight end.

1) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hiwe3lpGRDw (This video writes itself)

NFC North Post-Draft

Chicago: The Bears had a limited number of picks due to obtaining QB Jay Cutler and DE Gaines Adams via trades last year. Unfortunately, Adams passed away from a health defect. While it is sad, the cold truth about the NFL is that things keep moving and it leaves Chicago with a big hole on the D-Line. The few picks they had were used wisely. DB Major Wright is a big hitter who will learn from newly re-acquired Chris Harris. DE Corey Wootten slid because of a knee injury but he was considered a possible first rounder at one time. They also picked QB Dan LeFevour who has all of the physical tools to be a starting QB in the NFL but he faces a huge learning curve since he played in an unconventional college offense.
Fantasy Implications... None on offense. Perhaps a rookie breaks out and makes the Bears defense more attractive.
NFL Implications... A lot will hinge on new offensive coordinator Mike Martz who engineered one of the most powerful offenses in league history with the St. Louis Rams. Can he bring the best out of Jay Cutler?

Detroit: Don't look now but the Lions are rounding into a talented team. They took DT Ndamukong Suh with their first round pick. Suh is widely considered the "can't miss" prospect of this draft. Also, if you watch any Lions game this season, you will hear an announcer tell you Suh's name translates to "House of Spears". (Not Britney I hope). In Rd 2 they selected RB Jahvid Best who may have been the top RB if not for a serious concussion. The Lions have a huge opening at RB so Best could come in and start immediately. Detroit also made some solid picks on CB Amari Spievey and DE Willie Young who will both have a chance to contribute. One pick that could look awesome in a couple years was OT Jason Fox out of Miami. Fox had a serious knee injury but was one of the top tackles in college. If he can ever come back healthy, then Detroit stole a possible franchise left tackle.
Fantasy Implications... RB Jahvid Best will be money in leagues that reward distance scoring.
NFL Implications... Detroit is building a nice foundation. The defense is still too weak in the back seven but this is not a team to be taken lightly anymore. And they may be the team that pro gamblers pick every week vs. the spread.

Green Bay: Not a flashy draft but OT Bryan Bulaga will fit right into the blue collar town. DL Mike Neal is considered a reach but he is a good fit for the Packers defense. DB Morgan Burnett was always around the ball in college and will have a good chance to start. Basically this is a draft where there will likely be few superstars but many contributors... which may be all they need to make it to the next level.
Fantasy... Upgrades at OL bode well for QB Aaron Rodgers who might just be the #3 QB in FF.
NFL... The Pack were extremely close last season but lost a shootout to Arizona in the playoffs. They addressed their biggest needs. Time will tell if they addressed them with the right people.

Minnesota: Let's face it... this team isn't going anywhere without Brett Favre so they had better hope he stays unretired. Many are surprised more by who the Vikes DIDN'T pick rather than who they did. If QB Jimmy Clausen ends up making a splash in the NFL, then that will be a non-pick that Vikings fans will curse for years. Minnesota instead took CB Chris Cook who certainly filled a need... but this was a deep draft for CB's. He will have more pressure on him than most 2nd round picks. Toby Gerhart was drafted to backup Adrian Peterson at RB. Gerhart was a Heisman Finalist in 2009. DE Everson Griffen fell in the draft for some unknown reason. Was he just overrated or did they get a steal?
Fantasy... Gerhart is worth a late round pick as a handcuff to Peterson owners.
NFL... As I said earlier, everything hinges on Brett Favre's return. He's the difference between them making the playoffs or them watching at home.

Overall: Tough call due to the uncertainty about Favre. I think Green Bay did a better job of upgrading in the offseason. Maybe Aaron Rodgers will finally get a chance to beat his former "mentor". The Packers could be a sneaky good pick for the Super Bowl. Chicago made the biggest changes and also the highest profile player in DE Julius Peppers. The Bears have a chance to surprise everyone if the offense gels under Martz. And Detroit is no longer a pushover. Once again we can call the NFC North the Black & Blue division without it just being a callback to the 1970's.