Sports Hall of Fame: Bill Laimbeer

Bill Laimbeer is my favorite basketball player ever. That's really all it takes to make it into the Cullen Hall of Fame. He could have no other credentials and still be inducted just because I like him. However, I truly believe that Laimbeer is one of the most underrated basketball players of the 80's.

Everyone remembers this poor soul as a thug... Oh wait, I forgot that the media only calls black players thugs. Hockey has told me that goon is the caucasian version of a thug. Either way, Laimbeer was not well liked. He took cheap shots at opposing players, whined to the refs, and generally acted like a dick.

That persona is one of the things that made him so successful. Laimbeer was one of the few players who could take opposing players out of the game mentally. He even got the normally peaceful Robert Parish to snap. Parish, by the way, dabbled in weed... do you know how hard it is to piss off a pothead???

Thus Laimbeer doesn't get a lot of credit for actually having some skills. Here are some of the other things made him so valuable on the court...

1) Four time All-Star
2) Extremely durable - he has the 5th longest NBA consecutive games streak (which was ended by a suspension)
3) Solid Free Throw shooter - 83% career is excellent for a center
4) Excellent Rebounder - twice led the league in rebounds per game
5) Range - Laimbeer added a 3 point shot later in his career and hit nearly 1/3 of his shots from downtown
6) Stuff not measured by statistics - for instance, Laimbeer set devastating picks and was an accurate passer

Unfortunately, he wasn't the most athletic guy in the world. He was strong but had no vertical leap and very average foot speed. Laimbeer also deserves induction for some notable off-the-court achievements as well.

1) One of the best Sports Illustrated covers ever (pictured above)
2) Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball for Nintendo. Check out the effing sweet storyline for it...

The game predicts a science-fiction version of the year 2030 in which there are only robot basketball players (excluding Bill Laimbeer). Basketball teams play in gruelling league matches where new players are bought and sold. Within this future, basketball uses a dedicated robot to perform the toss up at the start of each match as referees had been fired by Bill Laimbeer sometime prior to the year 2030. As a result, players now wear armor to their games and weapons are thrown from the audience

3) The Beastie Boys wrote a song about him! (it wasn't very kind)
4) One of the most successful coaches in the WNBA's illustrious history.

So congratulations to Bill Laimbeer. This is my tribute to you. Bill Simmons can suck it for not including you in his Hall of Fame.